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Steamy Sex and Standard Sex are NOT Mutually Exclusive

Sex & Relationships

Steamy Sex and Standard Sex are NOT Mutually Exclusive

<em>Steamy sex doesn’t have to be reserved for holidays or special occasions. Read our tips on easy ways to step up your sex life to make every time an occasion rather than an obligation.</em>


Think about the last lust-filled, blush-worthy sexual encounter you had with your partner. Maybe it happened after an extravagant Valentine’s Day dinner or it was the perfect ending to your last birthday. These occasions are especially romantic because often times, you anticipate them. You shave head to toe, wear your best lingerie, or bring out a favorite toy from the back corners of your night stand.

Now, think about the time you had sex. (Hopefully you can remember.) Perhaps it was after you put the kids to bed, or your partner made a pass at you during a commercial break and you thought, “why not”? You’ve heard the phrase, “Sex is like pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.” Just because you don’t mind microwaved, two-day-old pizza does not mean you should be holding your sex life to the same standard! You should be having delicious, caviar sex every time!

1. Take the spontaneity out of sex.
Operating off the belief that your “special occasion” sex was good because you anticipated and prepared for it, it seems only logical to assume adopting this mindset with “any occasion” sex will facilitate the same results. While a spontaneous, out-of-the-blue encounter is often romanticized, reality isn’t always so glamorous. Text your partner and tell them what will be waiting for them tonight, the more specific the better. Better yet, slip some Sexy Surprise Dice into their bag with a note telling them that if they roll their dice right, they might get lucky tonight. This is a flirty and easy way to ensure that the anticipation of your night is in their mind, and yours, all day.

2. Little things make big things happen.
Put the steamy back in sex by paying attention to the details. Sex is, well, sex. But what differentiates good sex from meh sex are the little details that make that encounter stand out from the rest. Think about the things you reserve for a special night; from slinking that sexy lingerie, to giving your partner an alluring massage, or grabbing that toy for its annual use. These little things are an easy way to take your night together to the next level. So why only do these things a handful of times a year? Take the extra two minutes to spritz your Between The Sheets Linen Spray under the covers and put on your partners favorite Spotify playlist, you won’t regret it!

3. Make the occasional sex a sexual occasion.
Do something you’ve never done before! Ease a little kink into the bedroom, do it somewhere unexpected, or try out a new toy! The Maverick C-Ring Vibrator is the perfect bedroom accessory to try together because it delivers pleasure to both you and your partner at the same time. By introducing something different into your usual routine, you’re sharing an entirely new experience with your partner. Are you or your partner nervous about exploring anything other than your vanilla sex? Pop open the Vanilla Bondage Kit and give BDSM a taste. While “special occasion” sex is usually centered around a holiday or big event, make the new exploration with your partner the occasion to be celebrating.

4. Add some “love language” to your vocabulary.
While it would be nice if you could, you can’t read minds. (But if you can, please get ahold of us. We have a LOT of questions.) A big mistake that people make, especially those in long-term relationships, is assuming that they know everything about one another’s desires because of the sheer time they’ve been together. Turn this mindset on its head! Instead, take the fact that you’ve been together for so long and are truly comfortable with each other as the reason that you can have these private, intimate conversations. Being in such a relationship gives you the opportunity to put anything and everything on the table for discussion, free from judgement. If you’re looking for an easy transition into these conversations, try the Date Night Sexy Card Game. Date Night includes conversation cards, so you have a reason to ask your partner anything you’ve ever wanted to know without feeling embarrassed. Instead of assuming what your partner wants, or assuming that they know what you want, talk about it! You may discover entirely new things about each other.

5. A romantic relationship and romantic sex; One situation where correlation does imply causation.
Ever heard the rule that correlation does not imply causation? Well, when it comes to the correlation between a romantic relationship and romantic sex, there’s definitely an exception. If you’re trying to improve your sex life, the first step should be improving your relationship. Results will certainly follow. Bring back the little love gestures in your relationship that fell to the wayside as time went on. Write them a flirty message on the chalkboard surface of your Burning Desire Massage Oil Candle and leave it somewhere they’ll see for later. Or turn a romantic dinner out into an even more delicious experience by slipping them the remote to the Box Office Panty Vibrator. Bringing back the butterflies between you and your partner will cause them to flutter in more areas than one!